The First Time is the Hardest

Today's the day. This is getting posted. No bones about it. I am not going to spend hours contemplating it's worth. I'm just going to put myself out there. Once and for all. I am going to get over it and get on with it. I created this blog on January 27th and have yet to find the courage to post anything. I have been too afraid. What if it isn't good enough? What if it becomes another ball and chain I have to carry around? What if, what if, what if. They could go on and on and on.

I asked myself, "If this is so hard to do, then why are you doing it?" The answer is pretty simple. I love the connections I have made with other bloggers who have put themselves out there. I have been following a few blogs for a couple of years now. I feel I have a pretty good idea who these people are and that we could be great friends. But rarely, do I leave a comment. They don't even know I exist. Am I in middle school or what?

These "strangers" have shared themselves with me. I have gained insights and new perspectives. Some of which have really helped me when I felt I was in a time of crisis. Without them, I might still be stuck. I have shared several of these posts that have helped me with friends who have gone through similar difficulties. And not surprisingly, they have been helped as well. These writers have opened their lives, shared their wisdom, their hearts and I have let myself in. They have become a part of my journey. It feels a little unfair of me not to share myself in return.

My thirteen-year-old son wasn't going to tryout for his school basketball team because he didn't think he would make the team. I told him he definitely wouldn't make it if he didn't tryout. He thought about that and decided to give it a try. I was happy for him that he put himself out there. The experience wasn't painful. He didn't make the team, but he survived the tryouts and will tryout again. And not just for basketball. He now knows he will survive whatever he tries. The trying won't kill him. He knows he won't get very far if he doesn't try, if he doesn't put himself out there. Then I realized, like so many other things I do and say to my kids, that I need to practice what I preach. How can I get anywhere if I don't try? It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't even have to be pretty.

"Pain and discomfort are a firm hand in the middle of your back pushing you toward something better. You need to consciously make a choice to either grow or stay the same." This was sent to me by my coach and very dear friend. Truer words could not be said.

I have some stuff to share. Some experiences that you might relate to or find helpful. Or maybe, you will just find it all sort of humorous. Whatever. I am doing this. Because I want to write. I want to make connections. The connections make the journey more joyful, more loving, more creative and way more fun. So here goes...

One down. Who knows how many more to go. But who's counting!

love,
Shareen

P.S. My son tried out for volleyball and he made the team!